Every parent ultimately faces a time when they are unsure of the best way to discipline their child. Managing an angry teen or a wailing toddler might make it difficult to remain calm. No parent ever wants to be in that situation, and the reality is that physical aggression and yelling never work to resolve any issues.
Why positive discipline?
Parents don’t want to hit or yell at their kids. According to Professor Cluver, we act in this way because we are stressed out and have no other ideas for a solution.
The evidence is overwhelming: yelling and beating just don’t help and may ultimately cause more harm than good. A child’s entire life may be negatively impacted by frequent beating and yelling. Continued exposure to this “toxic stress” can have a variety of detrimental effects, including an increased risk of depression, heart disease, drug use, suicide, and school dropout.
The positive discipline strategy emphasises on a strong relationship with your child and establishing expectations for behaviour rather than punishment and what not to do.
Discipline at Different Ages
Depending on your child’s developmental stage and what’s going on for them, you’ll apply discipline in different ways.
Babies
Babies take part in activities to test their nascent abilities. They also take pleasure in top event. As an example, your child probably enjoys making you react when they pull your hair.
Babies, however, do not comprehend consequences. They are also incapable of distinguishing between right and wrong.
This suggests that punishment or negative results are ineffectual for early children.
Kindness and care should be shown when caring for babies so that they feel secure. Therefore, you might reply “no” and demonstrate how to gently touch your hair to your infant when they pull at your hair.
Discover what your baby is attempting to communicate to you through their actions and body language with the help of our Baby Cues video tutorial.
Discover what your baby is attempting to communicate to you through their actions and body language with the help of our Baby Cues video tutorial.
Toddlers
Toddlers frequently struggle with strong emotions like rage and frustration. They may be experimenting with their increasing freedom since their social and emotional development is still in its infancy.
By paying attention to their emotions, altering the environment, diverting their attention, and preparing in advance for difficult circumstances, you may train your child to behave effectively. These and other discipline techniques are explained in our advice and resources for managing toddler behaviour.Toddlers frequently struggle with strong emotions like rage and frustration. They may be experimenting with their increasing freedom since their social and emotional development is still in its infancy.
By paying attention to their emotions, altering the environment, diverting their attention, and preparing in advance for difficult circumstances, you may train your child to behave effectively. These and other discipline techniques are explained in our advice and resources for managing toddler behaviour.
Preschoolers
Most toddlers begin to understand what behavior is normal and what isn’t around the age of 3. As they discover the effects of their actions, they will try different behaviours and they may repeat some of them. Placing boundaries and being explicit about the behaviour you want to see will benefit your preschooler.
Children at school
Children of school age may be aware of appropriate behaviour in a variety of settings, such as the library, home, and schools. However, kids still need on you to reaffirm the boundaries and praise them for appropriate behaviour.
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Guidelines for Effective Child Discipline
One of the most crucial but difficult tasks a parent may have to complete is discipline.A regular and appropriate response to a child’s behaviour, known as discipline, teaches them how to successfully and cheerfully integrate into their environment. It is about teaching children to understand what is unexpected or wrong, delay their own pleasure or demands, be considerate of others, be forceful without being aggressive, and learn to tolerate and manage their discomfort, not about teaching them to obey.
1. Establish clear limitations and penalties.
Children must understand the limits. Keep in mind that they just arrived, as my mother urged me to do while I was chastising my kid. They don’t understand right from wrong; we must educate them. You must make sure that you have clearly defined the boundaries that children are not to breach before you ever punish them. then describe the rationale behind the boundaries. Saying “Never lie to me” is insufficient. You must explain to them the consequences of lying and the harm it causes to your relationship.
2. At all costs, carry out the specified consequences.
They’re going to go over the line once more. Explaining what they did incorrectly is never the end of that behaviour; rather, it will continue to occur repeatedly. The boundaries must be upheld or else they will vanish. The poor mother who was at the restaurant experienced this. She may have thought she had no control over her son, but in reality, she was giving him a profound lesson: there would never be repercussions. Even worse, when you ignore your children’s warnings, you are demonstrating to them your lack of reliability. It’s crucial to consistently and unwaveringly walk the walk.
3. Discuss the reasoning and have them repeat it back to you.
After giving them their punishment, talk to them about it. It helps if both parents are there for the conversation. Bring them somewhere private to talk about it, such as their room. Asking them why they believe they were punished initially will help. Ask them to rephrase it for you. Make certain they comprehend it. The main goal is to get them to consider how their actions might influence other people. Relationships are what give life its richness and fullness. Their relationships suffer when they cross the line.
4. Request forgiveness and say sorry.
It’s time to start the healing process after they realise how their actions affected the relationship. Teach them to sincerely seek pardon. Once you have apologised, let them know that your relationship is now back on track. Teach the other child how to forgive if the conflict is between them and another of your children. In our home, the majority of these exchanges are concluded with “I forgive you and I love you.” We then provide them physical affection in the form of an embrace, a kiss, or by letting them sit on our laps for a time. Make sure they are aware of your love for them from the beginning, middle, and end of the procedure.
Conclusion
It’s not about punishing kids; discipline is about changing behaviour. Children who are disciplined grow up to be emotionally and socially mature adults and learn how to be self-disciplined. There are many efficient ways for parents to instruct and mentor their kids, and some forms of punishment will always be debatable.